May 2020

Sometimes my journal entries don’t make a lot of sense to me when I read them later. I don’t always get the connection between what I wrote and what I believe God said to me.  In this one I evidently was depressed but didn’t exactly know it. However, there are some things in how I believe God responded that seem pretty significant.  I’m including part of what I wrote because I believe it shows that God isn’t put off by my jumbled thoughts!!  Nor would He be by yours! He is a loving God.

From the journal. . . . August 2015

Jesus, I’m grateful to have this time with You outside.  I know You made the world and keep it going.  I also know You gave me Jesus to save me from the consequences of my sins.  You made me the way I am with strengths and weaknesses.  Thank You Lord. You have shown me such love especially in my times of weakness. But I don’t know what part of the Trinity that I receive it from. God the Father? Jesus the son? or the Holy Spirit? Maybe it doesn’t matter.

I Believe God Said:

Your depression comes from disappointment and fear.  Diane, you need to come to Me in honesty and humility.  I know you better than you know yourself.  Being disappointed doesn’t mean you have no hope.  Having fear doesn’t mean you don’t have trust.  But they get out of balance and tip your scale.  It makes you feel like you’re falling. 

Your love for your children is real, just as the feelings concerning them are natural.  The actions you take are your choices.  Today you have concerns about all of your kids but one.  You don’t love the one more or less than the others but you aren’t fearful or disappointed for that one at this time.  But the love and commitment to each of them is constant. Regardless of how you feel.