May 2020

In my life there have been several seasons of anxiety.  Most have been understandable, in hindsight anyway. At the time however, I think that I’m losing it and it is a horrible feeling.  FEAR! And to make it worse, the enemy comes in and screams “Failure” among many other lies. He lies because he is the father of lies.  I know this is true but I get sucked in more than I like to admit.  My bad.  God is always available to set me straight!  Many of you may be experiencing that anxiety during this time.  This is such a time of uncertainty.  Take those concerns and fears to God and do not listen to the lies.  God loves you and satan does not.

From the journal. September 2017

It was a tough anxiety day the day before. 

1:00 a.m. I woke early on this morning and journaled.

11:00am . .I took an Atarax (anti- anxiety pill), desperate for relief.  . .   The anxiety peeked again at 4:00pm.

Now it’s creeping in again.    Then I went for a walk and You reminded me of how You didn’t just easily or quickly heal my cancer years ago.  I had to do the chemo and radiation, but You held my hand and got me through.  There really has been a lot of hard things this past year – couple of years.  I need You Lord.  My faith isn’t high right now.  But I’m trusting You to keep me and hold me.

Next morning 7:55a.m.  Oh Lord. You are God and I will always praise You. You are good and You are powerful.  I’m so filled with fear and anxiety.  I’m not alone.  I have You.  You’ve got me.

And I Believe God Said:

It’s not for long.  Keep looking to Me.  Rest knowing I am right here.  By you and in you.  You believe in Me.  Don’t doubt that.  I keep your faith even when you don’t feel it.  You have trusted it to Me.

Hebrews 12:1-3 Isaiah 41:10. 2Tim 1:12

So I proceeded with my normal reading plan: Numbers 7 : Offerings and Tabernacle anointings  . . . . and

the Lord interrupted me.

No.  No Numbers today.  Go to John and the Psalms.

Ps 32:8

I turned to 1 John 3  “I AM YOUR FATHER”.

Thank You for Your rest Lord.  You always hear me when I cry out to You.