July 2020

There are times when God has given me helpful strategies when dealing with my own sins or weaknesses.  Ways of escape*. Calling on the Lord is always the best first step!  The solution often requires changing my thinking or simply ‘putting my mind on something else’.  This has been very helpful when faced with my own insecurities that result in jealousy. *1Cor. 10:13. 

From the journal . . . . June 2006

. . Lord, yesterday was a hard day for me, but You have already brought me relief.  I confessed my sin, but I want to speak of it here because I want to be rid of it. I don’t want to forget the struggle and how You always help.  I want to do my part.

My sin is jealousy. It invades my soul at times and usually there is no justification.  It attaches to me like a demon.  I am jealous of dear people that I love.  I feel that ‘they’ are the preferred one and not me.  That my friends like them better. There’s also the question of ‘Do they like other people more than they like me?’  God, I confess this as sin and I am sorry that I have it. I am sorry that it hurts my testimony, witness, worship, and service to You.  What can I do?

And I Believe the Lord said:

Confess, like you just did.  Hate the sin but love the sinner, even when it’s yourself!  Focus on serving. Take your eyes off of you and find ways to help someone else.*  Remember how you helped your friend during the time you were jealous concerning your relative?  You felt very good about that. I know that you were hurt, but it’s connected to jealousy.  Mostly it’s about you. Yes, pride is involved.  You want to be the best and the most in relationships. You know in your mind that isn’t necessary or right* but you have a competitive nature.  Don’t cringe. Don’t shrink back.*  I know all about you and I love you unconditionally. I died for you.  You are making progress but it’s hard for you to see it.  Trust me.

*Phil 4:8. *Phil 2:3. *Acts 3:19. Rom 3:23-24

Confession is a good thing.  I wrote that about 14 years ago.  I still struggle at times with jealousy, but recognizing it makes it easier to deal with.  God’s grace is always sufficient to comfort and convict us exactly when and where we need it.