September    2020

As I re-read this entry from 2017, the beginning didn’t seem relevant to what I believe the Lord said to me, except that I was stressed.  I had been looking forward to retirement for a few years but didn’t expect it to happen so soon. I was talking to the Lord about what I would do next. He seemed to just cut through my mind’s chatter and went to my heart.

From the journal . . . . February 2017

.  .  .  I’ve been thinking about retirement again.  I’m evidently really going to do this.  Pretty scary.

And I believe the Lord said:

You want Me.  You seek Me when you are hurting.  You want your daddy and you come to Me.  I answer you because I love you and you need Me.  I love when you surrender to Me.  I love to be loved by you.  I love you when you are a baby and I love you when you are mature.  I want this intimacy with all My people.  I want more than to save them from hell.   I want to walk with them in the world like I did in the garden.  I could see Adam’s mind, but I wanted him to freely share with me.  That’s why when you journal, I am interested in all of it.  I have lots of gigabytes in My ‘storage’.  I am limitless.  I can receive it all.  When you respond to people -remember that I want with them what we have. 

Ps 18:6  Psalm 139:17-18

Wow, Lord.  Any challenges I meet in retirement will just drive me to You.  I have had all those years of raising our 5 children and mostly loved it.  I’ve had these 45 years of being married to Mark and mostly loved it.  I certainly learned to value it.  I’ve had 20 years of teaching and I’ve mostly loved it. What I’ve learned is the trials bring me to You continually.  So, I really can expect the same for this next season in my life.