My mom had died a few months before this entry and two of my four siblings were gone.   I was also having a really hard time in my teaching career.  I had absolutely loved teaching up until the year before but this was a nightmare! I was considering retirement a year earlier than planned.

From the journal . . . . December 2016

I had listed many things that I was thankful for yet, I was still feeling depressed.  

“Lord, I feel depressed this morning.  No tangible reason.  I miss my Mom, and brothers Don and Sid.  I wonder, but don’t know, if that is where the depression comes from.

Lord, I think it’s connected to my job.  Should I retire? Can I even survive this year?  I’m always looking far off.  Yet I have now.  This time right now with You, Lord.”

And I Believe God Said:

That is your hope.  Your present time with Me. I am always with you. * Whether you are aware or not.  We will always be together.  You have peace in Me.  You can’t give Me anything but you.  So always give yourself to Me.  Whether you are anxious, sad, or filled with praise.  You will go back to school in a couple of days and you will continue to need My peace.  Seek it in the classroom.  Seek My peace for the children, for the staff, and for the parents.

Col 1:27. Matt 28:20

We can’t change the past and we can’t control the future.  Fretting does not help. However, we do have choices for the present!

Joshua 24:15-16.     

Deut 30:19-20. “Today I have given you the choice between life and death between blessings and curses. . . . Oh that you would choose life so that you and your descendants might live!”