It’s interesting to have journaled through my adult life.  This entry was written over 30 years ago!!!  My children were kids and more than anything, I wanted them to know Jesus in a deep, deep way.  They all had made a personal profession of faith and they all had chosen to be baptized but I wanted so much more for them. I wanted the same for pretty much everyone that I knew, but especially those closest to me.  At that time, my siblings didn’t seem to understand what I was so excited about and I’m sure they thought I was way over the top. The term ‘fanatic’ probably fit pretty well.

From the journal . . . . August. 1987

I had been praying for my siblings and their relationships with the Lord.  .  .  .  “O Lord.  God.  I have so much with You.  I’m so secure and gratified with our relationship.  I don’t do it all right, but Father, I am convinced of Your holiness and Your love for me.  You are the best!  There is no other.  No anything.  Absolutely nothing compares with You! O Father, I want all of my loved ones to find what I have found. I want them to know this close intimacy with You.”

And I Believe God Said:

I want that for them too.  I want to be everything to them.*  Even more so than you do.  You must be My witness and testify to My nature*.

John 17:20-21 Isaiah 43:10 Acts 22:15 1Peter 3:15

O Lord – I don’t know how.  I’m so afraid I’ll blow it and drive them further from You.

That’s the risk you need to take.  Diane, you have to trust Me to use you.  Don’t be so timid.  The time is short.  You have the mind of Christ.*  You have My Holy Spirit within you.  Fear not. 

1Cor 2:16.  Rom 12:2   2 Tim 1:7

I didn’t know at the time but a little less than a year later I found out I had breast cancer.  It shook my world and my faith was tested.  I know the Lord used that trial in my life to strengthen my faith.  I wonder if He may have used it as part of His plan for my loved ones, as well.  With God anything is possible!!