I was discouraged in this journal entry many years ago.  I thought I had blown it and I believe God confirmed that fear.

From the journal . . . . May 1987

I was discouraged with the marriage Bible study I was teaching.  I hadn’t seen much fruit from it, and I had people disagree with me.  I said to the Lord,   “It seems that Polly is still offended by me.  But that’s how she is – I guess.  Lord God, You know how dumb I can be. I must have blown it.  Will I never learn?  Oh Lord, don’t give up on me.  I want to learn how to deal with people.  Maybe it’s time to read a ‘how-to’ book.  O Father”.

And I Believe God Said:

You’ve walked in obedience.  Now you need to trust.  Be still and know that I am God.*  You didn’t handle Bible study perfectly, but I knew you wouldn’t.  Trust me though, to use it.  In your weakness I am strong.*  Believe that I am teaching you how to teach others.

Ps 46:10. 2 Cor. 12:9

“But Lord… I get so sensitive.  Selfishly so.   I know that they don’t have to like me, but don’t they need to respect me?”

Did Balaam respect his donkey?   

Numbers 22

I wasn’t expecting that response.  I think the Lord needed me to get my eyes off of myself.  He wasn’t surprised I had ‘blown it’ but evidently, that wasn’t a deterrent to God. Our rebellion or disobedience is a problem, but our lack of ‘perfection’ doesn’t hinder God at all.

Because of Balaam’s rebellion, God had to use a donkey to speak to him. A donkey?  Beast of burden?  Ass? He may have respected his donkey but obviously not as a ‘Voice for God’.

The messenger isn’t meant to be more significant than the message.