I wrote this after a women’s retreat with our church.  I was having trouble receiving a personal prophetic word from the speaker.  I really couldn’t imagine God using the word ‘snot’ , so I was leery of the message.

From the journal . . . . March 1987

Lord, I want to be perfectly honest with You.  In this prophesy, or whatever, from Daphne, she said something like, “As a mother loves a child that is all messy and disheveled with snot coming out and yuck diapers, she hugs her anyway. God looks at you that way.”  Lord?  Lord, I confess that kinda hurts my pride, which is good, but it also hurts my feelings.  Lord, You really loved many of Your girls through me over the weekend.  We had spent a lot of time praying about the retreat and I believe You used me.  I don’t feel a pride in that but, I was really glad.  I was a little embarrassed by the attention, but I want You to continue the work.  Forgive me for wanting to have the most ‘right-on’ word to people. 

Bless Daphne.  Her teaching is good, so full of love, but I think I recognize some pride too.  I hate the sin of pride in me that comes sometimes.   I love to minister to people.  It feels right. I’ve so often seen You use me, but the sin of pride is horrid.  I don’t want to fail You.  Lord, I willingly set it on the altar before You.  God, if my flesh is too strong for the temptation of pride, then I will accept a different position.    Lord, does the yuck diaper and snotty nose represent my pride?

And I Believe God Said:

You are offended by that description.  It’s really gross to you.  You hate the idea of that snot getting on yourself, but then you realize that it can be cleaned up.  You can make your messy children clean and loveably attractive again.  I see you with your pride and it’s very offensive, but I know that I can clean it away.  Dirty diapers and snotty noses are natural occurrences involving waste that continues to come out.  It’s not unnatural at all. You aren’t trying to get snot all over yourself and I know that. 

Maybe I need to somehow learn to blow my nose.  But until then, You will continue to love me and take care of it.  Others may see me before I’m clean, but You are faithful to clean me up and present me as spotless. Oh, thank You for showing me.  I think of how young babies fight having their noses blown, and it makes a bigger mess.  Teach me to hold still for You.