To go or not to go?  That is the question. I tend to be a sociable person, but there are times when I just don’t want to make an effort.  Especially if I’m not sure I’m wanted.  Can’t you just imagine going somewhere and you hear someone say, “What is she doing here?” So if you avoid going, you don’t risk rejection.  This is a pride saving technique, but if you want the Lord to be able to use you in your life, you have to get over it.  It’s not about my comfort level but His purposes.

From the journal . . . .February 2011

I had been debating about meeting at an unfamiliar place with some co-workers after work. I didn’t feel particularly welcome but felt I could show support by going.  Even though I was scared and really didn’t want to go, I took the step because they had invited me.  I wanted to make myself available, if God had something in mind.

I finally found the place but there was no parking. I didn’t see any sign of anyone I knew, so I started back home.  I felt guilty for giving up too soon, so I texted my friend Belinda to see if she knew what was going on.  No answer.  I felt good that at least I tried, but I was relieved to go home.

And I Believe God Said:

You showed Me that you are willing even though scared.  It was brave of you to text Belinda and put yourself out of your comfort zone.  Keep the mindset of ‘reaching out’ to others. You did well to ignore those ‘pride’ signals.  Keep looking to Me and I will show you what to do.  Always believe and know this; We will spend eternity together.*  I love you and I am your faithful dad.  You were dragging your feet.  You weren’t convinced it was My plan or direction, but you wanted to follow My directions.

John 14:3 if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.

God, sometimes it’s so hard for me to hear You.  I move on sort of ‘a guess’.  Are there times when I am more sure of when to act?

At church when I want you to speak.  But that is in a comfortable environment.

I know that sometimes even when I’m sure and comfortable, I can still blow it.  Oh Lord, have mercy on me.

Lord, thank You. There have been times when I’ve responded in action.  I want to be trustworthy and available to you.

Sometimes when I’m facing something difficult the Lord will remind me that I get to spend eternity with Him! When I pray the ‘Full Armor of God ‘ (Eph 6:13-18) and I get to the Helmet of Salvation, I say ‘knowing that I’m saved’. Knowing my destination makes the journey so much more bearable!!