Mid-summer was the typical time in my teaching career when I would begin to have anxiety about the upcoming school year. I know, without even looking back, what I will find in my past journals of August, September, and even some Julys. It’s not necessarily a bad anxiety, mostly just some twinges. I loved the planning, preparations, and anticipations for my next class of kindergartners. However, along with that would come fears of the unknown.
From the journal . . . July 2006
. . . thinking about the next school year.
And I Believe God Said:
I will always be here. I can show you and speak to your mind. Jer. 33:3 Nothing is too small for Me to be included in. Luke 12:7 You tend to take details too seriously. Look at the big picture. You want your students to know they are valuable and lovable. You want them to know they have contributions to make to this world. You want them to feel special. You have a lot of hopes for them. I’m with you in this. Put the kids first – focus on them and not your popularity with the staff. James 4:4 Be helpful but keep your students as the priority at work. Remember the freedom you felt when you thought no one expected anything from you. * There is a goodness in that freedom. But- yes there is also balance because you need to be and get better.
*In 2004 I had a really hard school year. I had been given a bad review and it was devastating. The Lord was faithfully close to me during this time and saw me through it. I clearly remember one morning, on my way to school, feeling joy because I realized that if the administrator already thought I was such a lame teacher, then I didn’t have to worry about disappointing her. I would put my trust in Jesus and teach for Him and my students. It is the same concept as performing for an audience of One!
Colossians 3:23-24 AMP
Whatever you do [whatever your task may be], work from the soul [that is, put in your very best effort], as [something done] for the Lord and not for men, 24 knowing [with all certainty] that it is from the Lord [not from men] that you will receive the inheritance which is your [greatest] reward. It is the Lord Christ whom you [actually] serve.
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I know that very anxiety. It would hit me when I saw ads for school supplies and hear Caspian terns overhead. I still get that twinge even now.
I enjoy your blog Diane. Thanks for being faithful.
Kris! That is encouraging and so like you to be reminded because of a bird!! I’ve written many journal entries about anxiety and the Lord has been so good to me by giving me words to help me through. I’ve been wondering about posting more concerning this subject and you are the second person to comment about anxiety within a week of my asking Him about it. I’m thinkin ‘confirmation’! Thanks Kris!!! Love you!!!