2016-17 was the toughest year of my 20-year teaching career and my last. Over half of my class of kindergartners had behavior problems and our new principal didn’t understand the challenges of our ‘At Risk’ population.  Many teachers were struggling, but there were several Christian teachers and we gathered weekly to pray. I remember one week there were about five of us and we all shed tears as we cried out to God for ourselves, our students and each other.

I’ve briefly explained the situation I was in, but I’ve found with anxiety that the typical response God gives is consistently comforting.  As you read this, just imagine an impossible situation that results in mega stress.

From the journal . . . May 2017

Lord, You are good and I am so glad to come to You tonight.  Where in the world would I be without You?  I do not know.  Insane, probably. Although, I think the enemy attacks me because You love me, and I love You.  He probably wouldn’t bother, otherwise. But it is too, too, late because I adore You and I’m desperate for You. John 6:67-68

This battle is fierce, but I belong to You.  I lay it down.  I praise You, Lord.  You have given these (school) children to me.   Oh, God.  How can I help them?  There must be a way.  And Lord – can You defend me?  I feel that I am scorned.  ‘Don’t let them scorn or insult me for I trust in You.’

PSALM 119: 21-23 You rebuke the arrogant;
    those who wander from your commands are cursed.
²² Don’t let them scorn and insult me,
    for I have obeyed your laws.
²³ Even princes sit and speak against me,
    but I will meditate on your decrees.

It’s so hard.  One of our veteran teachers of more than 30 years couldn’t finish the year. She feared for her health because of the constant stress. Some of her students had even threatened to kill her. 

Harriet had some problem today and she had to leave.  I’m so worried about my dear friend, because she has a tough class and not even the confidence of experience.  The P.E. teacher had to take her class.

And please help dear Denise.  She was in tears today. Such a sweet woman.  Please help her. 

And I Believe God Said:

You are mine.  Remember, I’ve got you. Look to Me. Don’t despair. Let Me calm the storms.  Love each one.  The children and the adults.  I see you, Diane.  Denise does – as you see her.  The administrators don’t. You don’t see the administrators, either.  Look and love.   Show mercy.  Smile at the children.  Laugh with them.  Enjoy them.

It’s hard when they get out of control. Lord, I’m afraid someone will get hurt.  Oh Lord –please keep them safe.  I feel so weak and ill-equipped.

I have equipped you. Feeling weak is okay.  Look to Me. Rest in Me.  I’ve got you.  I never lose sight of you.  Look at the students.  Let them know you see them.  Reassure them of your love.  You can sleep now.  I see you.  I know you.  I have put you at that school for my purposes.

Hebrews 13:20-21 Psalm 139

Now may the God of peace—
    who brought up from the dead our Lord Jesus,
the great Shepherd of the sheep,
    and ratified an eternal covenant with his blood—
²¹ may he equip you with all you need
    for doing his will.
May he produce in you,^[e]
    through the power of Jesus Christ,
every good thing that is pleasing to him.
    All glory to him forever and ever! Amen. Hebrews 13:20-21.

Thank You Lord. I love You.