There have been 4 or 5 seasons in my life when I went through significant anxiety for more than a day or two. The breast cancer time was the one that had the greatest impact on me emotionally and spiritually. There were times when the Lord comforted me with just a few words. It reminds me of a hysterical child who can only absorb short sentences! So, for this post I’ve included two such times and both have returned to me over and over again!!
From the journal . . . . September 2nd, 1988
God, it’s almost 1:00 in the morning and I can’t sleep. Don’t You hear me? I ask You for peace, but I can’t receive it. I don’t have pain, but my stomach churns and churns.
I love You. You are my Lord. You tell me that You are in control. Okay. Then let this be used for Your purposes. I’m covered by Your blood, so how could satan be involved? I keep telling myself, “I am not going to have a nervous breakdown. That’s satan’s talk.” And I say to him, “ No curse can be put on me because I belong to God.” *
*Prov 26:2 Like a fluttering sparrow or a darting swallow, an undeserved curse will not land on its intended victim. NLT
Oh Lord – I guess I’m just being so shaken. Cancer, I think, I accept. But this mind and emotion stuff is the pits. Okay. It scares me that I’ll have this unrest stuff for too long. Lord, You said to tell You if it’s too hard. It is!
And I Believe God said:
Rest in My arms.
Matt 11:28-30. Ps 23:2. Ps 91:1.
Ps 131:2 I am humbled and quieted in your presence.
Like a contented child who rests on its mother’s lap,
I’m your resting child and my soul is content in you. TPT
From the journal . . . . September 22, 1988
Lord, I just started thinking about what it would be like to lose a breast and . . .
And I Believe God said:
You don’t have the grace to think about that!
2 Cor 10:4-5 4 (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;)
5Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; KJV
It felt like a spiritual slap on the wrist. I had been hearing a friend of mine quote a famous missionary who said: “God doesn’t give us grace for our imaginations”. That quote and the above scripture certainly gives credibility to what I believe He said to me!! And it always works to calm me down when I get caught up in dreadful imaginings.
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Wow such a different way to think of that verse, “you don’t have the grace to think about that.” It’s so true how our imaginations can go crazy so far beyond what God has planned. God’s grace is sufficient but when we let our imaginations have control we are out of his grace for us! Thanks Diane ?
I remember that so often. It’s similar to “let the day’s trouble be sufficient for today” I think. It takes so much discipline. Praise and worship helps me. Thanks for responding.