How well do you take criticism?  I bet it depends largely on who gives it and how you feel in that relationship.  I wrote this entry during the worst year of my career.  I’ve written about it before in the ‘Anxiety’ section of this blog.

In 2017, my principal suggested I have a teaching coach to help me with my class. I had been teaching for about 20 years and wasn’t really enthusiastic about having a coach. But I prayed and talked to a trusted friend who suggested the coach might be able to help.  So, I did it.  It didn’t help.   For whatever reason, it undermined my confidence, causing me more stress and anxiety.  It was a horrible time, but the Lord used it in my life, and I am grateful!  My trusted friend (and you know who you are) is still my trusted friend!!!

From the journal  .  .  . January 2017

Can’t sleep.  Strange for a Saturday night.  I got an e-mail from Coach Claudia this morning, while working in my classroom.  Lord, I have to stop having her.  The e-mail was full of more suggestions.  She wants to ‘change my room’.  She says ‘we’ need to do this and this and this . . .  It really upset me and certainly got me off course.  I will read it again now, with You by my side.  Go there with me please.  Speak to me, Lord. I need Your love and support. If You say so, I will change things, but, God, I feel that she doesn’t respect me and clearly thinks I stink as a teacher.  

So, with all the courage I could muster, I read it again.

Wow Lord!  That was amazing!  This time, with You at my side, the e-mail made sense and I could receive it.  However, when I read it at school today, it really messed me up.  What is that about?

And I Believe God Said:

You were hurt. You were defensive.  You were scared, overwhelmed, and a bit angry.  You are a target for the enemy of your soul.  He gets you at weak moments, then pounces.* You were already frustrated by the reading print order mess and when you read the email, it was compounded.  Remember this example.  You did well to wait before contacting the union rep and you did well to talk to Mark about it.  This is a victory.

Rev.13:17 ¹And the dragon was angry at the woman and declared war against the rest of her children—all who keep God’s commandments and maintain their testimony for Jesus.
1 Peter 5:8. Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.

I always ask the Lord to be with me and because of who He is, I know He is present.* The problem is, the things of the world can easily blind us to His presence.  If we don’t have His light and presence, we don’t see the world clearly.  The first reading of the email sent me into a panic, which in turn sent me to Jesus.  He comforted me with His presence and love.  As I re-read the email, knowing He was beside me*, I could be more objective about what was being conveyed.  I was grateful that the Lord stopped me from responding in my hurt before contacting the union representative.  After that, I made a couple of room arrangement changes, then I made a rational choice not to have the coach anymore.  I never felt respected or valued by her, I dreaded the days she would be coming, and she didn’t help at all with the students.  Surprisingly, my principal was okay with it. (I believe that was the grace of the Lord!).

*Psalm 91:15. When they call on me, I will answer; I will be with them in trouble. I will rescue and honor them. NLT

Hebrews 13:5 Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said,

“Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” NIV

Psalm 73:23 Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. NIV

Jer 1:8.
Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you,” declares the Lord. NIV

Psalm 109:31 For He stands at the right hand of the needy to save their lives from those who would condemn them. NIV