The Lord had been giving me personal words for a while.   I knew they were meant for me at the time they were given and I often shared the words with others.  However, I didn’t really know what was beyond that.

From the journal . . . . December. 2003

I got up after going to bed because I couldn’t sleep.  I wanted just to be with God.  So, I journaled a bit about other things, then I wrote. . .

Lord, I think You are stirring something within me.  It has to do with Your personal words to me and me publishing the words.

Wow.  I really do have a mission, to get Your words to me written out and somehow published. * Lord, is it possible for me to do that?

*Click on  About the Journal on the Homepage.

And I Believe God Said:

Of course it is possible. All things are possible with Me.  I started this good work in you. *  You hesitate because you don’t know how it will happen. Your responsibility is to follow me.  Open your eyes and follow.    

Phil 1:6 And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.
Matt 19:26 Jesus looked at them intently and said, “Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But with God everything is possible.” John 10:27 The sheep that are My own hear My voice and listen to Me; I know them, and they follow Me.

Then He reminded me of a rule I created for my students when we walked down the hallway. 

 ‘Don’t talk.  Hands to yourself.  Look forward so you don’t get left behind or run over the one you are following.’ 

Hmmm.  It seems to be about staying focused.

I wonder if giving so much attention to reading my old journals is like living in the past?  Or living on yesterday’s manna?*

Exodus 16:19-20. ¹⁹ Moses said, “Let none of it be left [overnight] until [the next] morning.” ²⁰ But they did not listen to Moses, and some left a supply of it until morning, and it bred worms and became foul and rotten; and Moses was angry with them.

No. As you do this, I will still be teaching you.  You will still, as always, need Me.  You need Me more every day.  Your addiction has grown so strong that you think you would die – just shrivel up in despair- without Me.

Oh, yes.  That’s true.  It pains me to even think about thinking about it.  Oh, Lord – what if I don’t do this?  Life keeps getting in the way and I can’t get to it.  What if I fail you?

Then you will be very disappointed.  You haven’t failed.  But you need to make it a priority.

Do I need to stop watching videos?

No – but that shouldn’t be a priority in your life.  I know you really enjoy doing our words.  So don’t deprive yourself of what you enjoy.  It will be work but a work you enjoy.  You can discipline yourself and it will take discipline.  We will plan together how I want you to go about it.  I am looking forward to the hours we will spend.

         Oh, Lord.  Me too.  I love You.  It’s 1:22a.m. and I need to go to bed.  I work tomorrow of course, but I love the time with You.  You are tender, yet passionate.  I sense that the devil will oppose our work, but You will fight him fiercely.  I see You in my picture where You hold a little lamb, but I imagine You turning in rage at an adversary who would threaten any of your flock.*  I love Your passion, Lord.  Funny that a picture from my Sunday School calendar could be so precious to me.

Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has chosen gladly to give you the kingdom.

*Luke 12:32. NASV 1995