To know that God sees all of our sins is pretty scary and depressing.  That’s how this journal entry started with Psalm 90:8.  However, God’s reminders of who He is and how He loves is what we need to have always before us!  So glad the entry ended this way!

From the journal . . . . October 1990

You spread out our sins before You—our secret sins—and You see them all.  Ps.90:8  NLT

You have my secret sins before You. You see them all.  You see my pride: A desire to be the best.  God, I confess that to You. The motive isn’t pure.  Part of me, thankfully, wants You to be exalted and I want all praises to go to You.  That’s the sincere truth.  However, Lord, I also recognize I want You to like me the best.  If You had but one to choose – I’d want it to be me.  I want to be Your best friend.  Is that wrong?

And I Believe God Said:

Strive for excellence.  I, the Lord, am the best incentive and influence for you.  That is ideal.  The problem is when you are so threatened by the success of others, you can’t rejoice in their righteousness for their sake or even for My sake.  You know that is a wrong attitude.  You must always rejoice in righteousness. ^*1 The answer again is to trust Me.  Trust that I am making you who I need and want you to be.  I am also making your peers who I want and need them to be.  Trust me.  Remember, I love you no more and no less because of your performance, faith, or intention.  My love for you is always on maximum. ^*2  My love for them is always on maximum.  You can’t get better than that.  I can’t love you more.

1 Corinthians 13:6. It (love) does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.
 
Jer 31:3. Long ago the Lord said to Israel:
“I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love.
    With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself. NLT


Rom 38:38-39 ³⁸ And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^[a] neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. ³⁹ No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. NLT.

John 3:16 “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish, but have eternal life. NASB

^*2The definition of maximum: adj. great, high, or intense as possible or permitted. noun: The greatest or highest amount possible or attained.  ~Google.