The word tells us to speak the truth in love. (Eph 4:15)  I believe the Lord specifically told me to speak the truth in love in this 1995 journal entry.  As I re-read the passage, verses eleven thru sixteen talk about how the members of the body of Christ, the church, His Bride, are to build each other up in love. Back in 1995, I missed a chance to speak the truth in love but, in a later circumstance, the Lord gave me another opportunity to accomplish what He intended, by speaking the truth in love.   I love that He gives us second chances to grow and I love that we can talk to our Lord about all of our relationships.  I know that He cares.

Eph 4:11-16  ¹¹ So Christ Himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, ¹² to equip His people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up ¹³ until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ. ¹⁴ Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming. ¹⁵ Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of Him who is the head, that is, Christ

From the journal . . . .June 1995

Lord, I’m sorry.  I lied.  Alexa asked me if I was mad at her, and I said no.  But I am, sort of.  When I think of Marty, I get angry.  Alexa had given the impression to another friend that Marty hadn’t treated her fairly.  I saw how Marty bent over backwards to minister to Alexa time and time again.

Oh Lord, I have such a time with communication.  I don’t like lying but I hate hurting someone.  To say, “I don’t believe You,” would hurt.  Help me, Lord.

And I Believe God Said:

Speak the truth in love, the truth in love.  You worry about offending for two reasons, hurting the person and rejection of yourself.  I am teaching you to be honest with your feelings.  Trust Me.  I give you insights because I trust that you won’t use them to hurt someone, but I want you to learn to speak the truth with love and courage.

Even after all these years, I still struggle with this.  I remember ‘Dear Abby’ when I was growing up.  She was a popular columnist who would give advice to her readers.  She always advised the honest approach, but I often thought she lacked kindness.  However, as I think of my friend, Alexa, she probably could have handled ‘my truth’. Honest communication was always important to her, and she was the one who asked me if something was bugging me. Looking back, I think it would have worked out. Or blown up in my face.

These days I try to forgive offenses before I need to confront them, so it doesn’t come up often.  I do remember a case when I did confront, and it turned out beautifully.  The friend had no idea that she had hurt me, and she was so very sorry.  We both remember it as a significant time of grace and forgiveness. Our friendship was all the better!!