In a crowd of people, the father looks for his child.  When they aren’t together, his mind goes to that child throughout the day. Lord, that’s how You are with each of Your kids.   Somehow, we are always on Your mind.  I love You Lord. I cling to You.

Ps 139:1-6, 13-18 O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me.
² You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
³ You see me when I travel and when I rest at home. You know everything I do.
⁴ You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord.
⁵ You go before me and follow me.  You place your hand of blessing on my head.
⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,  too great for me to understand.

13 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
    and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
    Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
¹⁵ You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
    as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.

    b¹⁶ You saw me before I was born.  Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.

¹⁷ How precious are your thoughts about me,^[b] O God.  They cannot be numbered!
¹⁸ I can’t even count them;  they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up, you are still with me!

From the journal . . . . February 2021

I am having a hard time physically.  My back continuously hurts.  Will it never end?  It gets to me to be physically hurting but I will look to You.

And I Believe God Said:

I’ve got you. I know about everything that goes on in your body. Remember your natural childbirth exercises on relaxing?  I took you through that when we weren’t as close as we are now.  I led you to that childbirth book to help you.  You were very young, but you did call out to Me and I heard you, My daughter.  You weren’t intentional about Me but I was intentional about you.  It was later that you rejected Me.  Diane, it wasn’t for a long time, but it was decisive.  Then, through the emptiness of where you were heading, I brought you to Myself.

When pride is wounded you have choices to make. You had started making bad ones that took you away from Me, but you were destined to Me.  You were always My precious daughter, and I would not let you go.

God, as I remember, my coming to You was a miracle. I had started believing a false god. The evil that said to me, “You’ve had enough. Leave your husband.  You’ll both be better off.“  Lord, my mom . . .  You used my mom to introduce me to You, the only true God!  What a wonderful thing for her: a gift she probably never expected to receive. I can say that because I have children and I know how a Christian mom feels.  You could have done it another way, but you didn’t. She was used to assist You. God, it was right here in this very room. Maybe even this exact spot. I was changed. Amazing.

Our marriage was doomed from the beginning. There were just too many things against us: too young, pregnant, both from divorced parents, alcoholism on both sides, and no authentic relationship with Jesus.  Even the preacher told Mark it would never last.

Those first four years were really rough, and my pride was taking a dive.  Indeed, I made some bad choices to try to redeem it BUT GOD came at the perfect time and here we are 51 ½ years later!!  As I have said so many times, This is Amazing Grace!