Church life is far from perfect or even relationally safe.  How could it be when it is made up of people? We’re all just sinners saved by grace.  God is so gracious to respond to my most petty and childish complaints.  I feel like He does a lot of damage control in my relationships by turning my thoughts to Him before I ‘act-out’ and totally embarrass myself.

Romans 3:23-24 ²³ For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. ⁴ Yet God, in his grace, freely makes us right in his sight. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins.

When we surrender to His will for our lives, we can expect to not always understand the situations He allows for us.  I believe if we can submit, even when we aren’t comfortable, He is more able to use us for His purposes, which is always best for us anyway!!

Isaiah 55: 8-9. “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord.
    “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.
⁹ For just as the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so my ways are higher than your ways
    and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.

From the journal . . . . March 1990

Lord, am I bugged because I wasn’t asked to be on the ministry team for the retreat?  Why wasn’t I asked?  Didn’t You want me to be?

I want you to be free to hear Me.  Don’t run away from where you think ‘things’ are happening.  Don’t go off on your own while there are groups gathering.  This retreat is not for us to be alone.  Saturday morning, we will have a time but be willing to let go of that.  I can communicate to you within the group.  For you, I want this retreat to be more corporate than personal.  You will receive personally but within the church body.

Hebrews 10:25And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.

I am a very social person and I love people, but I must have my time alone with God. Sometimes I want to go to Him alone to process whatever is going on in me or if I’m feeling unaccepted or invisible in the crowd and needing reassurance.  I believe these feelings of insecurity are common to man and usually not the reality, but we feel the hurt just the same.  Jesus heals our hurts privately or with other people.  He always knows what to do and how to do it!