For all our married life Mark has struggled against alcoholism.   By the grace of God, he has been winning the battle consistently for over six years.   For those of you who are married to an alcoholic, I hope this will be an encouragement because God knows, and so do I, you need encouragement.  This entry is very strongly edited because of obvious reasons. Mine is a personal journal and I tell it ALL to Jesus, but it’s not pretty or necessarily fair to the one I love (lower case ‘one’). 

For this to be helpful to anyone, the focus must be on what I believe the Lord spoke.  Furthermore, as in all my entries, the Lord was speaking to me personally.  Many times, I believe it is for all or most of us, but not necessarily.  My prayer is that God will speak personally to who He needs to concerning these words.

From the journal . . . . February 2014

Lord, Mark is choosing to drink.  I am so disappointed.  All my hopes concerning Mark are compromised because of alcohol. 

And I Believe God Said:

Why is that?

Because alcohol gets so much in the way of his relationship with You and You are his only hope.  How can we be compatible when he doesn’t turn to You in times of trouble?

You need to turn to Me.  Don’t focus on him and the problem.  You don’t see the answers and you fear that.  Look to Me.  Hope in Me.  I am your security.

Psalm 34:4-6 I sought the Lord, and He answered me,
And delivered me from all my fears.
⁵ They looked to Him and were radiant,
And their faces will never be ashamed.
⁶ This poor man cried, and the Lord heard him
And saved him out of all his troubles.

Lord, I love you and I need You. You are a threat to Mark in a way because I cling more to You when he is estranged from me.  I am so grateful for him when he’s ‘here’ for me but when he drinks, I can’t rely on him. 

I need not fear because You are always faithful and true, but Lord, I want more for him.  I feel this is a crisis because he’s not turning to You or me.  He is turning to despair, depression, and darkness.  I fear accidents, imprisonment, and death for him, but You are aware of all my fears and I know You don’t leave him or me.   I’m not his savior.  Only You can be that.

I’ll trust You to get me through this day with lack of sleep.  Mark seems to have turned from You and from me as well.  How should I respond, Lord?

In love and compassion.  Pity and prayer.  Don’t stress about what to say to him.  The less you say, the better.  He needs to hear from Me.  You need to hear from Me. 

1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant,  does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Proverbs 17:17 A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need. Proverbs 10:19 When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable,
But he who restrains his lips is wise.

There is joy because I conquered death.  Death is dead.  But I arose from the dead.  So when a thing, your hope even, seems dead, there is hope (confident expectation with pleasure).  It is the reality of hope: the expectation met.

Romans 5:5 And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. Corinthians 15:55-56 “Death is swallowed up in victory.
⁵⁵ O death, where is your victory?
    O death, where is your sting?”
⁵⁶ For sin is the sting that results in death, and the law gives sin its power. ⁵⁷ But thank God! He gives us victory over sin and death through our Lord Jesus Christ.

This word was very specific to me and my situation.  I know that with addictions of any kind, there is the risk of ‘enabling’ the addict by not taking a hard line.  I have my share of dysfunction in our family, and I know I didn’t and don’t always handle things right.  The answer always lies with going to God.  Alcoholism is a huge issue and there isn’t an easy ‘fix’ but God is where the hope comes from and that’s where we need to look!!