My husband was the sole provider for our family of seven for the first twenty-five years of our marriage. He was a self-employed roofer, sheet rocker, general contractor and whatever else it took to put food on the table!  There were several lean years, but Mark was a hard worker and generous with what he earned.  I’m so grateful he enabled me to stay home with our kids until they were all in school. I worked with him very part time for a few years and then went to college to become a teacher.  

From the journal . . . . October 1994

I had gotten extra money from financial aid and Mark wanted to use it for business purposes, but I wanted it to go in the household or savings account. *My attitude was bad and I knew it. 

Lord, You’ve put him in the position of provider.  He is doing that and has for twenty-three years.  If he thinks this money needs to go for business, why do I push back? 

Lord, is this an indication of how I’m going to be when I’m earning money?  Lord – change my heart.  I have my needs met.  I don’t want for anything, so why am I such a brat?  Oh Lord.  I’m stingy and I’m a coward, but I know You love me and I have potential!  Help me, God.  I’m a bonehead, huh?     

*When I said, “My attitude was bad and I knew it,” it’s because I had this ‘MY’ money attitude. On the other hand, I don’t remember Mark ever having that attitude. In fact he would say, “My money is Our money and your money is your money!”

And I Believe God Said:

I am not dismayed. You have been redeemed, and I will remodel you.  You are so right when you say you need Me.  You have a desire for righteousness, and of course that righteousness can only come from Me.  I am the answer to both sins.  I provide an alternative way.  Lack of courage? You need to trust and also fear Me more.  For the sin of stinginess, you know I give you everything you need. You can afford to lose the world.    I know your taxes are coming.  I know all about it.  It’s not a problem.

2 Cor 3:16,18 But whenever someone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. . . ¹⁸ So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord—who is the Spirit—makes us more and more like Him as we are changed into His glorious image

2 Cor 5:21 He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.  NASB 1995
 
Matt 6:36 But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

Mark 8:34-35 ³⁴ Then, calling the crowd to join his disciples, he said, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross, and follow me. ³⁵ If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake and for the sake of the Good News, you will save it. 

I love You Lord.  Can I eat candy bars in heaven?

That may seem like a random question, but hey, I was journaling, and  I truly felt this response from the Lord!

Dove Bars!

The Dove ice-cream bars came out that year and they were so so good, but pricey. So, this was really great news, but I wonder if He was serious!