Can you keep a secret?  I think I can if I know it is a secret.  However, when I was younger, I often got into trouble by repeating to a third party what someone else had told me in confidence, particularly my mom who was by nature more private than myself. We talked a lot and I didn’t always recognize what was confidential. Then my husband would say “Loose lips sink ships!”

From the journal . . . . June 1993

In this entry I was expressing my frustration, concerning someone close to me, to Tami, a casual acquaintance. I regretted our conversation soon after because I felt I was being disloyal to my close friend.

Oh Lord.  The tongue is evil. My tongue in this case. * It was a casual conversation, but I wanted to let Tami know that I didn’t approve of my friend’s relationship. That was wrong, wasn’t it?  Lord, I’m sorry.  You have given me Yourself to bring my concerns and doubts too. You’ve given me my mom and several close friends. However, with others, I should be more loyal to my close friends. Is that right?

*1 Peter 3:10 For the Scriptures say, “If you want to enjoy life and see many happy days,
keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies.

And I Believe God Said:

If you talk about your feelings, you need to be honest about how you feel. Your feelings aren’t fact, they only apply to you.  In Spanish, it’s considered the subjunctive mood, not a fact.  Your tongue can be an instrument for Me* or for the enemy.  Continually commit its use to Me.  The world doesn’t know your heart.  You are judged by your words and deeds.  I forgive you.  Guard your tongue.  That’s your job, your responsibility, and your choice, but I gladly help you.

James 3:7-10 ⁷ People can tame all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and fish, ⁸ but no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison. ⁹ Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God. ¹⁰ And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right! 
Prov. 21:23 Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity.
Matt 12:36 And I tell you this, you must give an account on judgment day for every idle word you speak. ³⁷ The words you say will either acquit you or condemn you.”

Lord, there’s so much work to do in me and I surely need a lot of help!!

In reading the Bible, I have read about the sin of gossiping* and so naturally I want to not do that.  I understand gossip means different things to different people, but usually there is some form of lies involved.  However, repeating truths to others about someone else can also be a problem.

2 Corinthians 12:20  For I am afraid that when I come I won’t like what I find, and you won’t like my response. I am afraid that I will find quarreling, jealousy, anger, selfishness, slander, gossip, arrogance, and disorderly behavior.

There are four things I try to consider, when talking to another person about someone else, without gossiping.  

Is the person I’m talking to part of the problem or solution?

Is what I want to say a fact, or my opinion or assumption?

Will what I say hurt someone’s reputation? 

What is my purpose for telling?

There is often the purpose of sharing prayer requests, which is another topic, but I’m not going there today.