It feels sort of sacrilegious to use the term ‘blah’ in connection with God but the blahness has to do with me, not God!  I’m thinking we can all relate to that, especially those who have walked with the Lord for many years.

In this entry there is a reference to wounds within the Church. It is a personal reference, but it also extends to the Body of Christ at large. I don’t remember the specifics and I didn’t look back in my 1994 journal because it’s irrelevant.   The Church, Christians and myself aren’t perfect and that’s not gonna change, until Christ returns for His spotless Bride.

Ephesians 25: 25-27 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her ²⁶ to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word.²⁷ He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. NLT

Suffice it to say, people disappoint people and that can be overwhelming at times.  I was having one of those times.

From the journal  .  .  .  . July  1994

Lord, I love You.  My faith is steady, but I’m not hyped.  I’m maintaining.  I know that I will feel more again, but right now I’m going on trust and faith.  I have knowledge and certainty but without feeling.  Are You here Lord?  I know that You are because You promise You will never leave.  But Lord, please speak to me.  I entrust myself to You and You alone.  Protect me, Lord, from deception.

And I Believe God Said:

Trust Me without seeing.  Speak of My faithfulness even in My absence.  I am the same God.

2 Tim. 2:13 If we are unfaithful, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny who he is. Hebrews 13:8 ⁸ Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

Lord, why do I feel different? 

The wounds within the church have wounded you.  You  know that I am the only perfect example of righteousness, but you are disappointed in others. You think that if you are disappointed, then you have not had your trust solely on Me.

Isaiah 29:23b Then you will know that I am the Lord; those who hope in Me will not be disappointed.”NIV

You want to take everyone at their word.  You look for good and you find it, but you lack discernment of fraud.  You can’t fix people, but I want you to give encouragement because that is a gift I have given you.  People won’t always take it and some will pretend to receive, but not.  You can encourage even if you don’t feel encouraged yourself.   No, don’t fake it but speak the truth.  Truth that isn’t inspired by feeling is still powerful truth.  Satan wants to shake you.  Trust Me.  Keep walking.  Don’t pretend that things are fine but know that I am in control.

Oh Lord, sometimes my thinking seems to give me joy, but right now I feel too weary to think.  Yet how could that be?  You have given me everything for life and Godliness.

2 Peter 1:3 for His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence.

If You are the Giver, then the gift is perfect and without a flaw.  You give me encouragements when I need them and You are in my mind, wonderful Lord.

Plan your days.  Ask Me and trust Me to lead your activities.  What you come up with is fine, but always be alert to My intervention.  Let your responses be godly.  People aren’t distractions.  Remember that you have time because you have eternity. Showing kindness and love are better than self-discipline.  Your plans are expendable.  My people aren’t.