I’m assuming I am not alone in having times of kicking myself for either not speaking up about something or saying too much.  I so often second guess myself. I’ve heard this called ‘vulnerability hangover’ when you say more than you plan to, but I think that term could apply when you don’t speak out as well.

Careful listening, on the other hand, is always appropriate and recommended!

From the journal . . . .November 1994

Lord, I believe that You told me something this morning. I was talking to You about yesterday’s class.  Professor Ricky was putting down Bob, a talk show host, because Bob was blaming heavy metal music for the many suicides among teens and young adults.  Bob also spoke of demon possession influencing teen suicide, which Ricky clearly thought was out of the question.  He downplayed the seriousness of teen suicide, which is pretty scary coming from a school psychology teacher. I was shocked but didn’t speak up.  I felt sick inside as I thought of my nephew Vince, who had committed suicide the year before.  I remembered another young friend of mine and some friends of my daughter who attempted or succeeded in suicide.  Ricky laughed at the thought of demons.

I didn’t have a problem of Ricky not agreeing with Bob about the possible causes of teen suicide, but to deny the seriousness of this issue was horrifying to me.

Lord, I was upset but I didn’t speak up.  I’ve been bothered by that ever since. I don’t know what troubles me more:  the ungodly arrogance and ignorance of my professor, or the fact that I didn’t speak up.  As I was getting ready for work, I thought You were reassuring me that it isn’t always appropriate to speak out.  But more clearly I heard. . .

And I Believe God Said:

My sheep know My voice.  If you speak My word, My sheep in your class, will recognize My voice.  They may not respond to you, but they will hear.  You don’t always have to speak up – but don’t be afraid. 

John 10:26-27 ²⁶ But you do not believe because you are not of My sheep. ²⁷ My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me; NASB
 

This was reassuring to me because I am not always sure what is ‘of God’ and what isn’t. I believe this applies to words we speak and words we hear or read from others.  His sheep hear His voice!  We can hear His voice in other people if we are listening carefully.  Just today I was reading from Mark 4.  Jesus told the parable of the lamp not being hidden.  Jesus then explained that things that are now hidden will be revealed eventually. He added that we need to be good listeners!

Mark 4:21-25. ²¹ Then Jesus asked them, “Would anyone light a lamp and then put it under a basket or under a bed? Of course not! A lamp is placed on a stand, where its light will shine. ²² For everything that is hidden will eventually be brought into the open, and every secret will be brought to light. ²³ Anyone with ears to hear should listen and understand.”

²⁴ Then he added, “Pay close attention to what you hear. The closer you listen, the more understanding you will be given—and you will receive even more. ²⁵ To those who listen to My teaching, more understanding will be given. But for those who are not listening, even what little understanding they have will be taken away from them.”

*The names in this post have been changed.