I came across this entry which immediately reminded me of the resolutions that I had on January 1^st 1995, particularly concerning our youngest sons (see Blog post 12/31/23). Those sons are now in their forties, and I recognize that I missed many opportunities to invest and enjoy them more by simply “being” with them.  However, I’m grateful that I have good relationships with all my children, and they are adults to be proud of. All the praise goes to Jesus!!!

From the journal . . . . April 1995

I was confessing selfishness, and I was trying to be specific about a complaint I had against Mark.  I felt bad that I wasn’t spending more time with the kids, and I was frustrated that Mark didn’t seem willing to help out.  However, deep down, I knew he wasn’t the problem or the solution.

So Lord, what do I need to repent of?

And I Believe God Said:

Busyness.  You don’t have as much to do as you think.  You need to “be” more.  Be with the kids.  Be with Mark.  Be with Me.  You have an attitude of importance, busyness, and urgency.

Luke 10: 38-42. ³⁸ Now as they were traveling along, He entered a village; and a woman named Martha welcomed Him into her home. ³⁹ She had a sister called Mary, who was seated at the Lord’s feet, listening to His word. ⁴⁰ But Martha was distracted with all her preparations; and she came up to Him and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to do all the serving alone? Then tell her to help me.” ⁴¹ But the Lord answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; ⁴² but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her.”

I had heard this concept before:  We are human beings not human doings. This is a challenge for me because I tend to get antsy just sitting around, probably not unlike Martha, but if God says a thing, I want to do it!  Or in this case “be” it.

Lord, I sort of understand, but I don’t know what to do about it.

Let go.  Don’t take yourself so seriously.  Trust Me.  If you don’t know something – that’s okay.  You know Me.  You know that apart from Me you can do nothing.  You know that I died to give you life.

1 Cor 2:2 ² For I determined to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ, and Him crucified. NASB   
Psalm 46:10 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth.” NIV
2 Cor 5:15-18. ¹⁵ And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again. 
John 15:5 I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.

That word and His scripture verses make so much sense to me to just lighten up and relax!  There is clearly power in His words!