The spiritual manifestations or signs and wonders are a controversial topic in the church at large. I am not here to debate the validity or authenticity of it, but to share the concerns I had back in 1994.

From the journal . . . .September 1994

I was wondering about spiritual manifestations because a girl at church had gone up for prayer the day before. She was in much turmoil and got ‘slain in the spirit.’  I questioned it because, among other things, it always seems to be the same people having that experience.  I talked to the Lord about my doubts and concerns.

Lord, while it was going on I stayed clear and just continued singing praises to You.  Was it from You or a diversion from the evil one sent to take praise away from You?

Lord, I want to know You more.  I want to hear You more clearly.  I want to know You more personally.  What do You want me to do in these awkward situations?  O Lord, let me hear from You.

And I Believe God Said:

You are still learning things.  You need to step out of your comfort zone and trust your inner feelings.  You are afraid of what people will think if you de-spiritualize a situation.  Remember that I am more real than the earth.  I am the key.  You aren’t convinced of the realness of the dark realm, but that’s okay.  You know that evil exists, but you aren’t sure of its form.* I am the key.  I am the weapon.  I am all you need.  I want you to risk your reputation and your pride.  I need you to be straight forward, respectful, and direct.

1 Peter 5:8.  Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. NLT
 2 Cor. 11:14 ¹³ For such are false apostles, deceitful workers, transforming themselves into apostles of Christ. ¹⁴ And no wonder! For Satan himself transforms himself into an angel of light. ¹⁵ Therefore it is no great thing if his ministers also transform themselves into ministers of righteousness, whose end will be according to their works.  NKJV

Oh Lord, I don’t know if I can do that.  I doubt it.

Recently you were afraid to speak to Janie, Sid, and Karla, but you overcame that fear, and I used your words in all three lives.

Here again, the Lord doesn’t address what I was asking but targets a more personal issue.  I believe it was concerning me being able to voice my doubts publicly, which I believe boils down to not being intimidated by the fear of man. It’s a risk and can be painful but, as He reminded me, it can also bear fruit.