I think all of us who have been married would agree that we don’t always treat our spouse as we would like to be treated.

Luke 6:28-31. ²⁸ Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you. ²⁹ If someone slaps you on one cheek, offer the other cheek also. If someone demands your coat, offer your shirt also. ³⁰ Give to anyone who asks; and when things are taken away from you, don’t try to get them back.³¹ Do to others as you would like them to do to you. NLT

Phil 2:3-4 ³ Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, ⁴ not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. NIV

These commands are very difficult and always bring conviction to me.  It is so much work!!  Help Lord, apart from You, I can do nothing.   

John 15:5. “Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing. NLT

From the journal . . . . June 1991

Lord, Mark said that You told him not to mess up my joy.  That’s so sweet!  I love that. I believe You meant it very sternly and seriously. 

Oh Father, I had been thinking earlier in the week that it would be nice if someone would have said that I should be ‘loved better’ like Mark was saying about our daughter.

Earlier in the week our daughter was having some disappointments with her boyfriend. As her parents we were defensive. Mark said, concerning Nicole, “She should be loved better”.

I had thought that I would have liked to have had a father to defend me.   Today I realized I do, it’s You!  You did defend me to my husband.  Thank You!

And I Believe God Said:

I am a Father who defends you when it’s necessary.  Mark isn’t against you, but he is struggling with flesh and spirit.  There’s a war within him.  You must pray for victory.  Your actions have little lasting effect on his spirit either way, but don’t quit praying. Be faithful.  Satan wants you defeated, but I want you both to be victorious.  Love him and look to Me in your distress.    

Be holy. Not for his benefit but because I am holy and satan doesn’t want Me glorified.  You must pray for Mark.  That is the influence you hold for him.  That is your weapon.  If you do good that benefits you both.  If you fail – you fail on your own.

Leviticus 20:26 You must be holy because I, the Lord, am holy. I have set you apart from all other people to be my very own.

I spent much time pondering this word and what it meant. Was He really saying my actions didn’t matter?  Did I hear that right?   Could that be?  I really believe He said that to me and I think His intention was for me to focus on prayer and not fall into obsessive guilt when I blow it.  My actions aren’t nearly as critical as I suppose.  No one’s salvation or spiritual growth are contingent on my actions. It’s always about God’s grace, His divine influence on one’s heart. 

Eph 2:8-9. God saved you by His grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. ⁹ Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it.

However, we are all called to be Holy because He is Holy.  I seldom consider myself as holy, but I need to imitate Jesus, the Holy One of Israel.    If He tells us to be holy, and He does, we have to do the best we can!  Imitate His actions!  Obey His commands, especially in regard to our fellow man.  And most importantly, Believe in Him! 

Acts 11:6-9.  When I looked inside the sheet, I saw all sorts of tame and wild animals, reptiles, and birds. ⁷ And I heard a voice say, ‘Get up, Peter; kill and eat them.’⁸ “‘No, Lord,’ I replied. ‘I have never eaten anything that our Jewish laws have declared impure or unclean.⁹ “But the voice from heaven spoke again: ‘Do not call something unclean if God has made it clean.’

The conclusion is clear to me: Only God can make us clean or holy!  Our outward actions won’t do it. However, by living in a Christlike way, our lives will be the very best possible and hopefully more pleasant for those around us!

Psalm 133:1-3 ¹ How wonderful and pleasant it is
    when brothers live together in harmony!
² For harmony is as precious as the anointing oil
    that was poured over Aaron’s head,
    that ran down his beard
    and onto the border of his robe.
³ Harmony is as refreshing as the dew from Mount Hermon
    that falls on the mountains of Zion.
And there the Lord has pronounced his blessing,
    even life everlasting.