It’s sort of funny, but when I see that I have a journal entry with God’s Personal Words to Me* dated from the second half of 1988, I suspect it will contain anxiety issues. Definitely true for this one!

I found out I had breast cancer on July 19, 1988 and I certainly wasn’t expecting it.  I had given birth five times, but I don’t think I had ever been so intensely focused on my health as I was during that season.  It was a tough, tough time.

From the journal . . . . August 1988

Lord, change me where I should change.  Have Your way with me.  Yesterday I was feeling a little relief from the anxiety, and I wondered if it was because I had started my period and was no longer PMS’ing. (premenstrual syndrome) Is that taking credit away from You?

And I Believe God Said:

I am who I am.

Ex. 3:14 And God said to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM.” And He said, “Thus you shall say to the children of Israel, ‘I AM has sent Me to you.’ ” NLT

Every physical thing is under My authority.  Doctors, researchers, and scientists discover some of My workings.

Rev. 4:11  “You are worthy, O Lord, To receive glory and honor and power; For You created all things, And by Your will they exist and were created.” NKJV
Col 1:16 For by Him all things were created that are in heaven and that are on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or principalities or powers. All things were created through Him and for Him. NKJV
Job 38:4  “Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth? Tell Me, if you have understanding. NKJV 
Job 38-39

I use pms in your life to strengthen you.  Daughter, I use it but don’t ever hesitate to tell Me when it’s too hard for you.  I know the truth of what is really too hard. I know when you are overtaxed, but I want you to be honest about it.

Psalm 139:1 O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. 

You be the daughter.  I’ll be the dad.  I sometimes permit your training to last longer than you want.  Let that reassure you that I am not coddling you. 

For the Lord disciplines those He loves, and He punishes each one he accepts as His child.”Heb 12:6 NLT

But I am a God of mercy and I delight to give you a break!  You need to always call on Me.  We are close but not close enough.  There is a lot more trusting that you need to do.  I love you.  You are the apple of My eye.

Psal 17:8 Keep me as the apple of Your eye; Hide me under the shadow of Your wings, NKJV 

Trust Me to guide your arms.  Relax and trust.  I want to train you to naturally and automatically do My will.  Be you and watch how I use your arms, legs, mouth and soul. Relax and watch.

Psalm 32:8 The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life.
    I will advise you and watch over you. NLT

Lord, won’t I get lazy and lose good habits?

Hey, I’m your teacher.  If you get lazy, I will deal with that.  You are going through a transition, and you truly are going to come into a peace with Me that is far greater than you have ever known.  Bryan prayed My will for you yesterday.  It stung your pride, but it was true.   Your peace with Me will be greater.

Isaiah 26:3 You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on You! NLT

Oh Lord, I want to understand.

It’s beyond understanding.

Verse Phil 4:7. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. NLT

Do I need to think it through?

Who created your mind?  Watch and relax.  My revelations require alertness and openness, not brains.

1 Cor 2:10 But it was to us that God revealed these things by His Spirit. For His Spirit searches out everything and shows us God’s deep secrets. NLT

I don’t know about you, but I so clearly hear the Father’s heart in this conversation.  In my fear I was so vulnerable, and He was so comforting. I have no confidence that anxiety will every go away completely while I am on this earth, but I do know that the Lord’s comfort is everlasting!

* Click on About the Journal on the blog site above the current post.