I love praying with other women.  When I came to know Jesus, I didn’t think much about the dos or don’ts of prayer, I just liked talking to Jesus.  My dear Mom was the first person I ever prayed with.  She led me to Jesus and was my mentor. She, by nature, was never as talkative as me, but she never gave me the impression that there was a wrong way to pray. She taught me to pray, study the Bible, serve others, and worship.  Everything else seems to come from those foundations. 

That was in 1975 and so by 2000 I had prayed with many other people and in many different situations. At this time, I had the opportunity to lead a prayer group of ladies. Praying personally is one thing, but leading others has responsibility, and I had many moments of uncertainty.

From the journal . . . .  March 2000

Lord, You are so good.  Thank You for allowing me time to prepare for the prayer time with the ladies.  I haven’t fasted or concentrated on prayer like I thought I would. Please Lord, make it clear to me how You would have me prepare.

I feel ready to do it.  Thank You for the plan.  I’m trusting that it’s from You.  If not. . . oh Lord, let me know.  I don’t want the time or opportunity wasted.  Thank You Lord.

And I Believe God Said:

You know what to do.  Don’t doubt.  I am God.  Your God.  Act on what I have given you.  Share your heart, not your mind.

James 4:17 Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it.
Prov 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.

Lord, You know that is scary to me.  I’m more comfortable sharing my mind.

I have told you before.  Walk in faith.  Don’t be so cautious.  Give your reputation to Me.  There’s not a thing you can mess up that I can’t fix.  So, step out.  I will be there.

2 Cor 5:7  For we live by believing and not by seeing.
Matt 19:26  Jesus looked at them intently and said, “Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But with God everything is possible.”

Oh Lord.  I’m sorry that pride causes me to fear.  Lord – take my reputation.   Ha, whatever that means.  Take away my concern for my image.  I know You’ve been working on that.  I love You, Lord.

It takes determination and focus not to dwell on these questions: What will people think?  What will people think of me?  Will they approve?  Am I going to mess up the Lord’s plans? Am I going to fail Him?  On and on it goes.   The Lord is continually working on my pride.  It creeps in and creates unnecessary stress.  It is a risk to be vulnerable, but I believe this is what the Lord desires of His people.  I don’t want to mess up His plans, but I have to step out in faith.

1 Thess 2:4 For we speak as messengers approved by God to be entrusted with the Good News. Our purpose is to please God, not people. He alone examines the motives of our hearts.

Gal 1:10 Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant.