Being responsible and independent are traits that I always believed were very important.  Being self-sufficient is a good thing, right?  Somewhere along the line I learned that we are not to accept charity. We have our pride to protect!

However, God invites us to depend and lean on Him. The saying ‘God helps those who help themselves’ isn’t in the Bible.  He wants to help us with everything!  We are to be yoked with Him. I believe He also wants us to do life with other people.  We are to work together and help each other along the way.

Psalm 91:15 When they call on me, I will answer;
    I will be with them in trouble.
    I will rescue and honor them.

Ecc 4:9 -10 Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. ¹⁰ If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. 

On the other hand, I know I need to be responsible and can’t just sit back and expect God to wait on me. 

1 Thes 4:11-12 Make it your goal to live a quiet life, minding your own business and working with your hands, just as we instructed you before. ¹² Then people who are not believers will respect the way you live, and you will not need to depend on others.

2 Thes 3:10 Even while we were with you, we gave you this command: “Those unwilling to work will not get to eat.”

So the challenge is to strike a balance. That is what I was grappling with in this journal entry.  I was ready to graduate from college and begin my teaching career, but I was feeling insecure and overwhelmed at what I was getting into.  Would I fail?  What more could I do to ensure success? Am I prepared?

From the Journal . . .  April 1996

Lord, I struggle determining what to just leave to Your great mercy and grace, and what is my responsibility to fulfill.

And I Believe God Said:

Trust Me.  You are responsible by nature.  Don’t worry.  Just believe in My ability and believe that I have equipped you.  You won’t drop the ball. You are going to make it. This is a wonderful time in your life because you see your need of Me. 

Psalm 50:15 Then call on Me when you are in trouble,
    and I will rescue you,
    and you will give Me glory.”

Your life isn’t falling apart, and you have no tragedy.  You are leaning on Me, and you expect to for the next couple of years.  But daughter, it won’t all be hard and scary.  I will bring you joy.  Joy even in the midst of fear.  You will call on Me and I will answer and tell you great and mighty things that you do not know. Rest in Me.

Matt 11:28-30 ²⁸ Then Jesus said, “Come to Me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take My yoke upon you. Let Me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For My yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”
Nehemiah 8:10b This is a sacred day before our Lord. Don’t be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength!”

God was very faithful to me.  I graduated, got a good job teaching kindergarten for twenty years, and I absolutely loved it!!  Now I’m retired and amazed at how the Lord worked things out. 

The lessons I learned about trusting Him are still of great value outside of the classroom. One change I recognize is that I have no hesitancy in knowing and admitting I need God all the time. And that’s not a bad thing!  When I am weak, He is strong. 

2 Cor 12:9-11⁹ Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. ¹⁰ That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Furthermore, I learned that kindergartners love to help!  In fact, most people love helping others.  It builds relationships and I think it’s because when people help, they know they have value!