We all have times in our life when we just feel like junk. We recognize our selfishness or pride or any other sin we may be guilty of.  In this entry I didn’t mention a particular sin, but I know I was feeling bad about something in myself.

From the journal . . . . February 1997

Lord, it’s always good to come to You at this time of day.  It’s also good to know that You know me as I am.  You are gracious and kind.  Because of that, I feel safe in You knowing me. 

I am pathetic and pitiful, Lord.  Oh God, have mercy on me.  Remember the cross and how You died because of my sin.   Your sacrifice was enough.  

John 19:30 Therefore when Jesus had received the sour wine, He said, “It is finished!” And He bowed His head and gave up His spirit.

1 Peter 2:24 and He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed.

Oh, I want to live for you.  Truly live for You.   Be glorified in my life so others would get a better impression of You because of me.

And I Believe God Said:

I am the same God who has always loved you.  I’ve always known you.  I love you as always. 

Psalm 139:1-4  O Lord, You have searched me and known me.
² You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
You understand my thought from afar.
³ You scrutinize my path and my lying down,
And are intimately acquainted with all my ways.
⁴ Even before there is a word on my tongue,
 
Jeremiah 31:3 The Lord appeared to him from afar, saying,
“I have loved you with an everlasting love;
Therefore I have drawn you with lovingkindness.

Remember that when I reveal sin and darkness in you, I’m making you more useful and pliable.  I’m using you now, but I want to use you more. 

Isaiah 64:8 But now, O Lord, You are our Father,
We are the clay, and You our potter;
And all of us are the work of Your hand.
Ephesisans 2:8-10 For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; ⁹ not as a result of works, so that no one may boast. ¹⁰ For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.

Keep Me ever before you and keep My salvation message fresh.  I want close relationships with My people.  I want intimacy and I want their trust.

Lord, how we disappoint You.  I’m sorry. 

I don’t know exactly how disappointment works for the Lord. He knows us so well that He’s never surprised at what we do.

However, it is disappointing for us when we realize how needy we are.  It makes me want to avoid situations where I fail to meet my own expectations. Unfortunately, that usually involves being with other people. I strongly believe the Lord wants us in relationship with others, so the answer isn’t to avoid people. 

We must keep on keeping on, and bring to the Lord our sins, trusting He will use it all for His glory!!

Hebrews 10:23-25  Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful; ²⁴ and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, ²⁵ not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near.