Since 1996, mid-July through September have typically been seasons of anxiety for me.  If you are a teacher, you may relate!  The beginning years were the worst and I learned to rely on the Lord more and more, which is the point!  In 1998 I didn’t have a position and that increased my stress. Everything was a huge unknown.  I’m sure you all know the stress of the unknown.  It can sometimes lead to full-blown anxiety!   This wasn’t that, but it was not fun, and I was desperate for the Lord’s presence to see me through.

From the journal . . . . July 1998

Lord, I told Mark that I have an inkling, premonition, or notion that there may be a first grade opening at my previous school in the fall.  God, this uncertainty is scary, but my life is in Your hands.  Help me through this to have the proper attitude.  Jesus, I’ve noticed lately when I feel scared, I tend to resent not being hired when the second grade position became available.  However, Jesus, my hope isn’t in the hiring team.  It’s in You.  So, I must keep my hope there and refuse to worry.   You know my needs and You’ve always been so faithful to me. 

Lord, is there something I should be doing?

It is so difficult to have no control over a stressful situation. I always want to do something, even if it’s menial and/or not necessary!

And God Said to Me:

Relax for now.  Trust Me to lead you.  Concentrate on your family.  Not work.  Keep checking the job line, but nothing else is necessary at this time.  Trust Me.  I’ll take care of you.

Matt 11:28-29  “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and You will find rest for your soul.

The Book of Psalms is so comforting to me when I’m anxious.  I appreciate how David admits to how he feels.

Psalm 42:5. Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him For the help of His presence.

He repeats this cry a couple more times.

Psalm 42:11, Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him, The help of my countenance and my God.

Psalm 43:5 Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why are you disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him, The help of my countenance and my God.

I think he is saying, “I really do trust God, so why am I so miserably afraid?”

And this is one of my favorites because I’ve often wished I could just fly away.

Psalm 55:6 I said, “Oh, that I had wings like a dove!
I would fly away and be at rest.

David relates to us, and he speaks God’s comfort and encouragement.

Ps 37:7 a Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him;

Psal 116:7 Return to your rest, O my soul,
For the Lord has dealt bountifully with you.

Psalm 25:2 O my God, in You I trust, Do not let me be ashamed; Do not let my enemies exult over me.

Psalm 62:8 Trust in Him at all times, O people; Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us. Selah.

From Solomon:  

Prov 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart  And do    not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight.

The Lord sees us through all of these trials and I am tempted to say,   ” And I did all that worrying for nothing.”  But on the other hand, I know through every trial that I trust to the Lord, I learn more and more about who He is and how faithful He is.  So I’d say it’s not wasted!