There are times when I am not happy with my inward responses to people God has put in my life. I like it much better when I love everything about everybody! 

Paul says in Romans 7:15. “I do the very thing I hate.”  For me it’s not so much what I do but what I think or feel.  The Word says the heart is deceitful above all things.

Jeremiah 17:9-10 ⁹ “The human heart is the most deceitful of all things,
    and desperately wicked.
    Who really knows how bad it is?
¹⁰ But I, the Lord, search all hearts
    and examine secret motives.
I give all people their due rewards,
    according to what their actions deserve.”

This Jeremiah verse is true and not very good news but Jesus came to redeem us from what we deserve.  That is the Best News Ever!!

¹⁰ He does not punish us for all our sins;
    he does not deal harshly with us, as we deserve.
¹¹ For his unfailing love toward those who fear him
    is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth. Psalm 103:10-11

From the journal . . . . May 1998

Continuing with my character flaws . . .  I’m not very compassionate.  I’m sorry for Mandy because of her physical problems, but she blames others for her trials, sees herself as a victim, and I suspect she lies.  However, she loves You.  Of that I am pretty sure.  

Lord, it’s just hard for me to minister to someone when I don’t believe the stories they tell, but I want to help. 

And I Believe God Said:

Point her to Me.

Yes Lord, that’s always good!

Pray comfort and conviction for her.  I appreciate your admission in knowing that you don’t know hearts.  You have suspicions but you are cautious about giving them credibility.  That’s good, but you can still pray.  And love. 

Practically speaking, there isn’t much you can do and I don’t want you to try to solve every problem. 

Listen, encourage, and pray.   

You get hard hearted as a defense when you are unwilling or unable to help in a practical way.  That bothers you and pride comes in.  You think you need an excuse for why you are okay in not helping.

This was a huge and uncomfortable revelation to me but a confirmation about the sin of pride in myself.  I truly felt bad for Mandy because she had many valid needs. I didn’t really know what to do and I didn’t really have the time or resources to do it.  I believe I needed, and still need, to acknowledge my limitations instead of using the shortcomings of the person in need as an excuse. 

People manipulate and use guilt to accomplish their own desires.  It’s a sinful world.  There are folks, ungodly folks, that are drawn to Christians for that very reason.  You need discernment about ministry.  Not about hearts necessarily but about your own part in responding. 

The most important thing when you care is to pray.  Then, see if you are to help in a practical way.  If you have the desire, opportunity, and ability to help, then help.

If not, pray and care but guard against feelings of  condemnation. Condemnation causes you to do things I haven’t called you to do and to neglect the things I have called you to do. 

Remember; care and prayer are most important in love. 

OK Lord.  I see that. Help me to remember, O God of my memory.

In this situation with Mandy, my desire to help was a little sketchy because of my suspicion of lies.

The opportunities , beyond an occasional visit or phone call, weren’t there.

As far as ability, I wasn’t a therapist, counselor, medical professional or social worker. I was a friend.

The Lord had one more thing to say to me personally at this time and it may apply to others as well, especially if you have the tendency to want to make everyone fine!

Your most active love should be shown to your family.