I love that the Lord loves me unconditionally. * Jer.31:3, Rom.5:8, 8:38-39

He knows everything about me and all my thoughts, good or bad. It’s futile to try to hide things from Him. ** Psalm 139

When I journal, I verbalize how I feel. He has shown me that most of my relational challenges come from an insecurity in myself. To personalize what Paul says about doing the very thing I hate, I would say, “I think the very thoughts I hate.”

Rom 7:15 For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate. NASB1995

The best course I have is to confess to Him and trust Him to work it out in me.

1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

From the journal . . . . September 2022

Lord, I confess I have negative thoughts about our extended family. It stems from insecurity on my part and there is no one to blame but myself. I don’t think it’s a competition but sometimes I feel like such a loser among them.  Lord, I want to show love instead of showing how ‘not hurt’ I am.

I had an enlightening talk with Ben. He said that he and Shirlynn went to church together recently, but the pastor was a hypocrite. Shirlynn knew him professionally and was not at all impressed with his character, so she turned away from church. We talked about hypocrites in the church then I asked Ben how Shirlynn was doing with You. He said, “That’s nobody else’s business. It’s personal.” Ouch Lord.

And I Believe God Said to Me:

I know you and why you care. I know why you asked questions about faith and relationship with Me. Many respond positively! That provides a connection, and you can rejoice in Me together.

Psal 133:1 Behold, how good and how pleasant it is
For brothers to dwell together in unity!
 
Hebr 3:12-13 Take care, brethren, that there not be in any one of you an evil, unbelieving heart that falls away from the living God. 
¹³ But encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still called “Today,” so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.

You love to talk about Me and hear about what I do in the lives of others.  However, some are uncomfortable and don’t want to talk about it. So, it’s disappointing to you because you can’t share that with them. Nonetheless, you can find other links and you need to not give up or let your disappointment keep you at a distance. Especially with family!

Thank You Lord. It is always good to talk with You. Thank You for not giving up on me.

We are called to give witness to others about the goodness of God. It is often out of our comfort zone and sometimes theirs as well. It takes practice and courage to continue on through the awkwardness. This is why we need to always look to the Lord and His provision to work in us what He wants to do.

I think the fear to witness also comes from our own insecurities. Insecurity would be a viable option if we didn’t have the mighty God working in us!!!   But Praise God He has come to use us for His divine purposes!

Phil 2:12-13 So then, my beloved, just as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your salvation with fear and trembling; 

¹³ for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Jer 31:3  The Lord appeared to him from afar, saying,
“I have loved you with an everlasting love;
Therefore I have drawn you with lovingkindness.

Rom 5:8 But God demonstrates His own love toward us,

in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

Romans 8:38-39 For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, ³⁹ nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

** Psalm 139: 1-4 O Lord, You have searched me and known me. ² You know when I sit down and when I rise up; You understand my thought from afar.
³ You scrutinize my path and my lying down, And are intimately acquainted with all my ways.
⁴ Even before there is a word on my tongue,  Behold, O Lord, You know it all. NASB1995