Please notice that this journal entry was written over twenty years ago and with God’s help we were able to make peace with the situation. We have had a few times since then when we were disgruntled with church life, and I expect those times will come and go. I try to keep in mind the Lord’s response that I received at this time. God’s grace and love must always prevail! 

From the journal . . . . October 1999

Lord, I’m thinking this morning about church.  My thoughts are negative but I submit them to You.  Please take control of my life, my family, and our spiritual well-being. 

And then I go on about how our kids weren’t picked for something and other people were.  Mark and I were very disappointed about how we thought the leadership made their decisions, and we thought they were wrong.  Yada yada yada.   I ended with . . .

Lord, we aren’t very satisfied.  Is it selfish?

And God said to me:

The church isn’t perfect. 

Romans 3:23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God

It is made up of people and personalities.  My prophets weren’t popular, but they got into history because they were extraordinary.  David was a great leader.  He had personality.  People generally liked him, and he was devoted to Me.  He wasn’t perfect but his heart was for Me.

Acts 13:22  After He had removed him (Saul), He raised up David to be their king, concerning whom He also testified and said, ‘I have found David the son of Jesse, a man after My heart, who will do all My will.’

The famous and/or conspicuous aren’t necessarily the best.  You must follow Me.  Submit to your leaders but follow Me. 

Matt 23:3 Therefore all that they tell you, do and observe, but do not do according to their deeds; for they say things and do not do them.   
(Jesus was referring to the Pharisees. I’m not referring to my church leadership in that way.)

Confess your sins and serve Me.  Go out; be My witness.  I’m watching and others are too. 

Do not be discouraged by what happens at church, but remain loyal and faithful.  Love unconditionally.  You held back from leaders last night. What was in your heart?  Daughter, it wasn’t love.  Love doesn’t seek its own.  You didn’t encourage and I want you to.  You must concentrate on what I have asked of you and quit judging others.  I am your Father and I love you.

I think about the concept of ‘fight or flight.’  I tend to be a ‘flighter’ when conflict arises.  I want to withdraw and neglect the call on my life. The Lord convicted me of this as He does from time to time. He called it ‘not love.’

The Church isn’t perfect.  David wasn’t perfect. Jesus’s disciples weren’t perfect. I remember that Jesus once said of His disciples,  “I’ve chosen you but one of you is of the devil.”  I’ve remembered the scripture wrongly but the idea of God’s imperfect Church is still there.

Isaiah 64:6 For all of us have become like one who is unclean,
And all our righteous deeds are like a filthy garment;
And all of us wither like a leaf,
And our iniquities, like the wind, take us away.

The Church is made up of imperfect people who love and serve the Perfect One!  He is all about love and forgiveness.  That’s our example!