I get so sick of myself sometimes. I can be ungrateful, impatient, self-centered, proud, selfish, judgmental, hypocritical, and on and on it goes. I so relate with Paul that I do the very thing (things) I hate.

Romans 7:15 For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate.  :18 For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not. ¹⁹ For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want. 

I don’t remember specifically what was going on at this time, but it’s not unfamiliar territory.  I’d been there before and I have no doubt I will be there again.   

Romans 7:24 Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death? ²⁵ Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!

From the journal .  .  .  . February 2002  

Oh Jesus.  Prune me and do what You need to.  I say that by my will, but my flesh and emotions often want to be left alone.  Oh Lord, listen to my will and my spirit that want to please You. Let me rest in You, knowing You are in control.  I love and trust You.  I yield to You and You alone, and I trust You to protect me from evil.

And I Believe God Said:

That is what I want from you.  A submitted spirit. 

Psalm 51:17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; A broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise.

You trust Me, but you don’t trust yourself.  That’s okay, but remember, I am your Lord.  You underestimate My power within you. 

Job. 37:23 We cannot imagine the power of the Almighty; but even though He is just and righteous, He does not destroy us. NLT

Matt 6:13 ‘And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil. (For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.’) not in the earlier manuscripts

You are progressing.  Stay the course and look at Me.  This life you’re living is brief. Heaven is better than you can imagine.  I want to take you there, where you will live with Me always!

1 Cor 2:9That is what the Scriptures mean when they say,

“No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared
    for those who love Him.”

John 14:3 If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, that where I am, there you may be also. 

The Lord promises to be with us here on earth. There are obviously obstacles to us receiving the fullness of His presence.  However, we can take heart because we know in whom we have believed!

Revelation 21:3-4 And I heard a loud voice from the throne, saying, “Behold, the tabernacle of God is among men, and He will dwell among them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself will be among them ⁴ and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away.”

2 Tim 1:12. For this reason I also suffer these things, but I am not ashamed; for I know whom I have believed and I am convinced that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to Him until that day. 

All scriptures are from the NASB 1995 unless otherwise stated.