Most people my age have experienced or at least known someone having to make life or death decisions for a loved one. It’s heartbreaking or at least bittersweet. We don’t want to be without the one we love but we also don’t want them suffering physically, mentally or emotionally. It’s a very hard place to be and challenging to unselfishly consider how others are coping. It’s very likely that your own ‘go-to’ supporters are vulnerable as well.

From the journal . . . February 1998

Jesus, we are wondering about Laura. She is becoming less responsive and there is not much hope of recovery. She is kept alive by a feeding tube. Shortly after the lung surgery Dr. Mat suggested we not have the feeding tube or the oxygen. We rebelled at that but are now considering. She wants to be with You and who could blame her? You could keep her alive or You could take her. Today we have means to extend life even when people are unable to receive the necessities naturally, so they live much longer. Lord, to live is Christ to die is gain.

For to me, living means living for Christ, and dying is even better (Philippians 1:21).

Should we let her gain? Are we interfering with Your plan by feeding her intravenously? Lord, these are hard questions and they are definitely controversial. Lord, forgive my lack of faith. I think You are saying, “Let her go.” Oh God, I feel it in my knower, but I am afraid to “print it”.*

And God said to me:

You are to let Laura go. You believe I am the best for her and you know that with Me she will be well. You are afraid that you might be making a wrong choice. It’s not your choice. You are afraid that I might have reasons to keep her alive and you don’t want to interfere. But apart from your mind, you want to let her go because you love her. You are afraid that it’s not consistent with your pro-life stance and you are wrestling with your mind. I’m not asking you to go to the wall or to convince others, but I want you to trust your heart, trust My spirit to touch your heart.  Be convinced in your own mind, but in this, trust your heart.

I will give them a heart to know Me, for I am the Lord; and they will be My people, and I will be their God, for they will return to Me with their whole heart. (Jeremiah 24:7).

Trust in the Lord with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding (Proverbs 3:5).

My husband and I were the last ones to see her. The night before she died her daughter, who lived out of state, asked me to be sure to tell Mom that it was okay for her to leave this earth, that we would all be okay. She wasn’t awake but I believe she heard me as I told her that and prayed for her. She knew Jesus and we could rejoice that she was with her Savior whom she loved!!

Dear Jesus. Please be close to people that are reading this today and going through similar experiences. Help them to know how much You love and care about what they are going through. Lord, please give them Your wisdom about what to do. I also ask, God, that You would send people alongside who can bring them comfort. In Jesus name, Amen.

⁵ But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. ⁶ But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind (James 1:4-6).  

*https://encouragingmoments4you.com/about-me/ It’s titled “About the Journal”.