“I don’t care.”  What does that mean as an answer to a simple question?   Does it mean it really doesn’t matter to you?  Does it mean you hate the idea but don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings?  Does it mean you don’t want to be a bother to someone else or maybe you don’t want to be bothered?  Or maybe it means the answer is complicated and you don’t want to explain.

In this journal entry I asked my daughter if it would be OK for me to stop by her house.  I don’t remember if there was a specific reason or if I was just out in her area and wanted to. Her response was, “I don’t care.” That wasn’t the response I was hoping for.  I suspect she didn’t really want company. She was expecting her first child, working full time, and this was a Saturday, but she wouldn’t want to hurt my feelings.  I was working full time as well and would have understood but it would be a disappointment for me because I loved spending time with her.

From the journal . . . May 2005

 … Lord, I think, no, I know you spoke to me after I had called my daughter.  I asked her if I could stop by and she said, “I don’t care if you come by or not.”  It sounded like she was happier if I didn’t.  I tried not to show it, but it hurt my feelings.  Then I felt I heard You say, “Forgive her.”  So simple.

And the Lord Said to Me:

Forgive her.  When you are hurt – admit it to yourself and tell Me.  Then, forgive the offender.

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you (Col 3:13 ).  

Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you (Eph 4:32 ).   

Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you (1 Peter 5:7).

Diane, you heard Me clearly without pen or paper.  You tend to underestimate yourself and your ability to hear from Me. I know you love Me and want to hear from Me.  The enemy attempts to distract you by his lies about those you care about and how they think and feel about you.  I am not mad, disgusted, no, not even frustrated with you.  More than anything, My daughter, I want you to accept and receive My abundant love for you.

”The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in His love He will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing” (Zeph 3:17).

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. ³⁹ No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 8:38-39).

I don’t remember what I ended up doing about my daughter and visiting her, but our relationship has always been good. 

The point is that hurt feelings can be totally unreasonable, yet painful just the same.   I consider myself reasonable, so I sometimes deny my feelings are hurt because it doesn’t always make sense or seem justified for me to feel hurt. But denying pain doesn’t make it go away. Most of us have been on both sides of unreasonable hurts, but talking to Jesus is always best and forgiving is best. He is pleased when we forgive others as He has forgiven us!

Anyone you forgive, I also forgive. And what I have forgiven—if there was anything to forgive—I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake (2 Cor 2:10).

Finally, dear brothers and sisters, we urge you in the name of the Lord Jesus to live in a way that pleases God, as we have taught you. You live this way already, and we encourage you to do so even more (Thess 4:1).