In this season of life my kids were young adults! When I entered this journal entry into my computer, I had edited most of it out for privacy reasons and I was most likely venting my complaints to the Lord. The following was all I had left of that particular rant. I suspect one or maybe two of my kids had been what I considered poorly treated by people I thought should have been kinder. I was what I would call “righteously indignant”!

From the journal . . . . August 23^rd, 1999

Oh Lord, the injustices of life are so hard!

And the Lord said to me:

Do you see how the enemy can use those injustices? In both of these instances, you have the potential to discredit someone and hurt an important relationship. Is that what you want?

There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword, But the tongue of the wise brings healing (Prov 12:18).

Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear (Ephesians 4:29).

Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it (Psalm 34:14).

And I show you a still more excellent way.

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, ⁵ does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, ⁶ does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; ⁷ bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things (1 Cor 12: 31b, 1 Cor 13:4-7).

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor; ¹¹ not lagging behind in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord (Rom 12:10-11).

Love and encourage your children to serve in love. They won’t always be appreciated by the world, but I always know when they are serving Me. You can encourage them by the secret things you see. Keep Me ever in sight. Love those upset-ers who upset you or your loved ones. Trust Me to perfect you and your kids.

And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).

As I think back on those days the hurts came from fellow believers. I know this because our kids were mostly involved with our church family; adults and kids that I knew were committed to Jesus.

What I find significant is that as I grew up my mom knew my friends but had very little, if any, contact with their parents. Another thing is, if I had a serious conflict with someone, I could just avoid them.

It’s been different for our kids because they grew up in our church family and I was friends with most of their friends’ parents! However, that doesn’t make them immune to the normal conflicts that come from having relationships!

God calls us to love each other so we couldn’t just give up. That didn’t make it easier but there was more to lose with unresolved conflicts. Unfortunately, unresolved relational conflicts, whether children or adults, is a reason some have left the local church and that is sad.

A valuable lesson I have learned is that parents will always look out for their own kids but, we are all vulnerable to misunderstanding and parental bias, me included. I have to tell a story about our oldest daughter. She hadn’t had her driver’s license for very long when her and her friend, I’ll call Susie, went for a ride somewhere. A few days later my husband and Susie’s dad were talking, and he was upset and concerned about the ride. Susie had told him that she was alarmed because our daughter was going 80 or 90 on the freeway! When my husband told me about it, I immediately wouldn’t believe it. “There’s no way she would do that! She’s got too much common sense! Somebody is seriously exaggerating!”

My husband on the other hand was skeptical. And when he had a talk with our daughter, she confessed to doing it. I truly was flabbergasted! My default mode was to think that somebody else was in the wrong, not my daughter!!  

This revelation was an eye opener to me and was to be repeated with each of our five children from time to time!

That’s kind of a funny story about parental bias but the truth is there are truly injustices that come to us and will come to our children. These injustices are so unfair, and you hate to see your children in pain. The Lord’s response remains the same;

Point your kids to Jesus and trust them to Me!  

 For this reason I also suffer these things, but I am not ashamed; for I know whom I have believed and I am convinced that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to Him until that day (2 Timothy 1:12).